There’s a Fraction Too Much Friction

I was in a discussion on LinkedIn the other day about disagreement in conversation. The point he raised was that disagreement is a form of friction, and that some amount of friction is necessary for a healthy discussion. I think there is something slightly off in that framing.

To me, conversations are like a game, such as soccer. The game does not depend on fouls or collisions. It depends on fair challenges. We expect players to challenge each other for the ball, just as in conversation we expect people to fairly challenge ideas. And when the challenge is fair, it does not feel like friction. It feels like play, fair play. It feels like shared exploration or collaboration.

Where we experience friction is not in the disagreement itself, but in how the disagreement is carried out. I think friction appears when the challenge becomes unfair. When someone starts playing the person instead of the ball, and when ego enters, or certainty hardens. So then, some friction is not of some value, but the signal that fairness is slipping, and time to step up.

This is where I think many teams get stuck or slow down. They assume heated debate is the sign of depth. They assume tension is required for progress. But in my experience, the most productive conversations are calm, steady, and grounded in curiosity. They involve challenge, but not heat.

This is exactly the problem SpatzAI is designed to help teams work with. It provides a simple way for a team member to call attention to the moment when the challenge stops being about the idea and starts feeling unfair. When one notices that the tone is becoming overly dogmatic, and flexible opinions start to become absolute facts. At this point, a verbal caution can be issued. If acknowledged, they move on. If the caution is challenged or ignored, it is followed by a formal caution – using the 3-step SpatzChat app when necessary. At the third step, if still unresolved, their now micro-conflict is finally posted on the Spatz Team and AI-assisted Review platform, using the Slack teams plugin. If their current conflict is still unresolved, they can use the organisation’s standard conflict resolution process to resolve their issue. Simple, clear, and fair.

We believe at Spatz that real conversations are fair challenges without the heat and discomfort of friction.
And teams work best when everyone agrees on how to keep it that way.