Why are so many so-called intelligent people so easily sucked into conspiracy theories? I am not exactly sure but I dare say that our biases have a lot to do with it. That is, we are more likely to believe what we want to believe or as the saying goes “having itchy ears”…ha! just waiting to be scratched.
Unlike our legal system we have today, where the accused is innocent until proven guilty let’s make the information that we receive guilty until proven innocent. That is we check the sources. Where they came from, how many we can find and what possible conflict of interest they may have.
Coming from a Sherlock I would say this is elementary my dear, elementary!
Why is it that when we are offended by someone’s behavior we end up being even more offensive in reply? Because they started it, simple. Of course this is a childish reply and as adults we would never be seen giving such an excuse for our offensive behavior but deep down I think that is what we still believe.
It explains every conflict, dispute and fight we have ever had. If someone has dared to cross us first then we will make sure they will remember not to ever do it again, by crossing them by even more. The offended becomes the offender and so the cycle has continued for milenia.
But imagine if we lived by, and agreed to, the principle of being less offensive and what effect that would have on our lives?
The way I see it is that we have 3 choices when we are offended
To be equally or more offensive in return
To be passive or submissive and suck it up buttercup
Or to object, which is a neutral stance
Objecting seems to be a lost art. For example when was the last time you actually said to someone that you objected to their behavior? Never, is my bet.
That is why I have developed Object123. I believe it can allow us to be less offensive when we are offended and help de-escalate a situation when someone is offended by the other’s behavior, without having to be submissive.
Of course for this to work we would need to agree to use this method and the process can be even used when one fails to use it correctly, by objecting to this behavior also. So it becomes sort of a singularity that can self correct itself.
Object123 is a simple Social Just Culture tool that we have developed to help stop power abuse in the workplace. We see this as a very important part of workplace health and safety, that is, a Psychological Safety using a Just Culture process. And as Just Culture encourages teams to own up to mistakes by not blaming or punishing them, a Social Just Culture encourages teams to expose and confront misbehavior, in real-time rather than repress it and backbite the offender.
Organization members are encouraged to openly disagree and simultaneously OBJECT to, and acknowledge any poor behavior during the three phase process. Thereby, nipping at the bud, any disputes before they become heated conflicts and saving countless lost hours of gossiping, backbiting, strained office politics and abuses of power.
disagreeing Vs objecting
Firstly it consists of us agreeing to observe and separate our disagreements into two parts. 1. Our content of the disagreement 2. Our behavior while delivering the content We disagree with the content as per usual but OBJECT to our behavior, in real-time. during our discussion.
three phases of objection
Object123 consists of three phases of objection, small, medium and large. Each phase requires an acknowledgement from the offender or they can try justify their offensive behavior. The three phases are: 1. Caution – Receive a simple acknowledgement or escalate to… 2. Objection – Receive a simple apology or escalate to… 3. Stop – Receive an acceptable apology or escalate to…
final democratic process
It also includes a final democratic process to ultimately eliminate any unresolved disputes, where the offender and offended attends the Friday afternoon weekly meeting and their case is adjudicated by a team of their peers (not HR or management). Without an acceptable explanation or acceptable apology the offender will most likely be let go, regardless if they are the manager or even the CEO. We want to shift power from the top and give everyone, from the janitor to the CEO, access to social justice.
Type “psychological safety” into Google and you will see a bunch of articles on “so many ways to add or create psychological safety in the workplace”. Since the New York Times article in 2016 about Google’s research into “What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team” the buzz phrase has been psychological safety. The number of books written on the subject is exhaustive and exhausting.
But what if we chose a new tact and instead of trying to add or create psychological safety we set about simply removing psychological unsafety. You see no one exactly knows what psychological safety looks like, although many have theories, no one exactly knows how to get it as a simple step by step formula otherwise there would only be one book and one way to do it and everyone would be doing it that way.
But dare I say that we have a much better clue for what psychological unsafety looks like and especially feels like. My definition is walking on eggshells. A common idiom we use daily to explain how it feels to be in an organisation that feels psychologically unsafe. Now imagine if we knew what caused this feeling and went about removing it? Hey presto! Problem solved. This presentation is my very simple theoretical solution for removing psychological unsafety and ultimately leaving us with psychological safety, as we learn to utilise the Object123 tools.
In summary, I think it is easier to measure and subtract power abuse than to measure and add psychological safety!
My question to the person that posted this Parisa Naraei PhD:
“My point is Parisa, that is what is needed with psychological safety, now, to define, design and measure it & get everyone to agree & there are a heap of books & thousands of pages on the subject, it is exhaustive and exhausting.”
“Now take the opposite approach that is measuring of power abuse. I believe we all have an intuitive section of our brain that can detect the slightest offensive behavior in a nanosecond. However, we have been indoctrinated to suppress, repress or oppress these feelings by such idioms as, “suck it up buttercup”, “sticks & Stones….”, “snowflake”, “don’t rock the boat”, “don’t be so sensitive” or “have a thick skin”, etc etc. I am sure you have heard at least one if not all of these before.”
“So imagine if we agreed to speak up, in real-time when we have taken offence & encouraged adult team members to have this behavior that children are so good at. But instead of throwing a tantrum like a child, we simply objected to the offensive behavior as it occurred. Eg. When was the last time you said to someone “I object” when they said or did something offensive to you? We usually, literally suck it up & after the meeting gossip to our workmates about what a deplorable person they are. Here is my slideshare pitch to help you understand my point.”