Prevent Vs Object IN REAL-TIME
We can’t PREVENT misbehavior; it is a given. It WILL happen, on occasion between people, especially when we disagree. When our ideas are threatened, we can become defensive and offensive, resulting in angry, and incivil behavior. We can, however, OBJECT to this misbehavior in real-time, as it occurs rather than complaining about the person later. For this reason, we have produced Object123. A simple toolkit designed to object to misbehavior, in real-time, thus nipping any potential for long-term conflict or disputes in the bud.
Disagree & Object
Firstly, we understand the difference between disagreeing versus HOW we disagree during a disagreement. We disagree with the content as usual, but we OBJECT, in real-time to how someone disagrees with us (misbehaves). In effect, we are having two conversations simultaneously. If you are taking offense to how the other is behaving during the conversation, you can switch to Object123, and use the first of the Stop-The-Line conversation buttons to slow or ultimately stop the conversation or meeting as needed.
Stop-The–Line Conversation Buttons
By beginning this process, we are entering into our safe space where we remain until we resolve the misbehavior issue, and only then do we resume the actual conversation, discussion, or disagreement.
Simply CAUTION! the offender. The offended person should receive an acceptable acknowledgment of the offender’s misbehavior or a satisfactory explanation that justifies their behavior. If the offended person is not satisfied, he or she can escalate to an objection.
Simply OBJECT! to the offender’s misbehavior now and expect to receive an acceptable simple apology or a satisfactory explanation for their poor behavior. If still not satisfied, the offended can escalate to a stop.
Simply STOP! the offender now and expect to receive an acceptable apology consisting of:
1. What was said,
2. Why it was said and
3. What the offender will do next time.
Final Democratic Process
If still unsatisfied, the offended person can escalate the issue to the final democratic process. This process uses a team of our peers (NOT HR or management) to adjudicate our dispute. This could be done as needed on the day, for example, or on a Friday afternoon during a weekly debriefing.
Of course, all participants would need to agree to use Object123 beforehand, and it would apply to every member of the organization, from the Janitor to the CEO.