What is the most objective institution in our society?
I would say the legal and judicial system, although it has many weaknesses.
Marriage is one of the least objective, in my view and lasts, on average 9 years in Australia.
Sport is a combination of both with subjective supporters and players with the benefit of agreed rules, an umpire and sometimes video and even electronic devices to objectively adjudicate.
What would happen if we could apply elements from our judicial and sporting systems to our marriage institution? Some might say we do in that the couple signs a marriage certificate or contract. But that only prescribes a start and finish but for the time in between there is little or no adjudicator.
My upcoming book, Object, proposes seven ways to be more objective, together.
Maslow was famous for creating this chart of hierarchical needs to survive. That is, we are all making sure we have 1 through to 5, in that order of priority.
What if we changed this dramatically and turned the pyramid upside down changing the focus of parenting.
Having parents that can provide 1, 2, 3, & 4 needs then maybe the child could focus more on number 5 and the parents assisting them rather it being an entirely “self actualization”.
Surely that is the job of parents to provide all 5 needs. Perhaps most parents have not spent much time actualizing and too much time making sure of the other 4 needs, to be able to give their child the tools for actualizing?
If I have a child I would instruct them with an underlying code of conduct, that I believe is the secret/hidden/lost instructions we all live by unconsciously.
“Make sure he/she is making sure, but making sure it is appropriate to the level of risk.”
I believe it is possible we all have this instruction embedded in our DNA but being instructed to do this by our parents directly and not spend years (in my case 58 years) to try work it out, could be momentous for helping that child actualize.
So when we first meet someone we are usually making sure we are liked and if it was an attractive girl/boy we are making sure we get some sex, if we are lucky….maybe.
There are lots of other agendas, as well, that we can have for making sure of, but I think mine was always been making sure I was making sure as my up front agenda.
This agenda has always been my number one for the last 33 years even when I just started out on my quest, although very primitive for the first 25 years.
Making sure about making sure is a little crazy when you don’t have an actual objective other than that, but now that I understand this much I can now explain it, that I am making sure of my objectivity and everyone else’s, which is basically the same.
How, where, when, why and with whom I can share this process of “making sure I’m making sure” is the next post.
An agreement is the closest thing to objectivity, in my view.
If true then obviously the better and stronger the agreement, the closer we get to objectivity.
The better the processes we use to form a quality agreement the better the agreement and the closer to objectivity…..maybe.
Do you agree?
Every democratic society, seems to be built on the legal principle of…..
“Innocent until proven guilty”.
So, even within business and personal relationships this mantra should apply.
We are all innocent until proven guilty and should not be quick to judge.
But we do also have the right to prove someone’s guilt.
That is, to be making sure of someone’s innocence.
At any time the tax office can ask for the evidence of income and expenses for your last tax return but generally presumes you honesty or innocence.
We too must generally assume our loved one’s innocence and integrity but at anytime we have the right to question their statements when we feel that something is not adding up.
So, remember, we all have the right to the presumption of innocence AND also the right to prove their guilt or of making sure of their innocence…..maybe.