“He Started it!”, A Micro-Conflict Way to Resolve Objectionable Behavior in Workplace Teams

It is fair to say that most conflict resolution approaches take a diplomatic stance: both parties were somehow to blame. But what if that’s not true? What if one party was innocent, and the other initiated the uncivil behavior? The anonymous system of reporting issues or “going behind someone’s back” can be seen as perpetuating the conflict rather than resolving it, as both parties can then consider that they were infringed upon.

I believe this scenario is the root cause of escalating many workplace minor conflicts. One person starts it—perhaps through a thoughtless remark, a dismissive attitude, or outright aggression—and the other retaliates, sparking a tit-for-tat exchange or reports the behavior anonymously, creating a whole new level of toxic, irreversible conflict. The result? A downward spiral where insults and accusations fly, with both parties eventually claiming innocence.

But what if workplace teams had a simple, agreed-upon procedure to address objectionable behavior rather than reacting to it or needing to report it as an incident? What if the innocent party had a clear, validated way to say, “He started it,” and the evidence supported their claim?

Nipping It in the Bud

This is where SpatzAI comes in. The SpatzAI model empowers workplace teams to “nip it in the bud” by offering a systematic way to address incivility as it happens, without the need for retaliation or anonymously reporting it. Instead of descending into mudslinging or post-conflict blame games, the process encourages teams to resolve their micro-conflicts constructively and objectively.

SpatzAI achieves this by:

1. Providing a shared procedure for all team members to follow when they encounter objectionable behavior, a team charter.
2. Offering real-time intuitive procedure and tools like using an initial real-time verbal caution. And if ignored or challenged they can use, at an appropriate time, the chat app to directly address any minor infractions, preventing escalation.
3. Ensuring fairness by using the team-assist review platform to transparently collaborate in resolving their conflict, allowing the team and AI to trace the cause of their spat or dispute and offer their opinion. If still unresolved the team can make a recommendation.

The Role of the Innocent

For this system to work, there has to be room for innocence—but it must be earned. The truly innocent party is the one who chooses to apply the agreed-upon procedure rather than being a vigilante and retaliating. By opting into the Spatz structured approach, they demonstrate discipline and accountability, setting an example of constructive micro-conflict management.

The result? Teams avoid the trap of escalating into toxic conflicts and instead an environment of fairness and trust is created. With SpatzAI, the phrase “He started it” becomes more than a defensive claim—it becomes a valid, traceable account of the incident, backed by the team’s agreed rules of engagement.

Transforming Workplace Conflict

The ability to address uncivil behavior without retaliation is a game-changer for workplace dynamics. SpatzAI gives teams the tools to hold each other accountable while maintaining professionalism and respect. Instead of perpetuating cycles of conflict, it empowers teams to build stronger relationships through fairness, transparency, and mutual responsibility.

Because in the end, it doesn’t matter who started it—what matters is how we choose to respond.