Being accountable for our actions sounds simple, but try extracting an acceptable apology from someone, and you will soon find out that this ability is as rare as hen’s teeth.
My brother Steve and I tried this experiment some 20 years ago. We agreed that if either of us got angry, we would give the other an acceptable apology. Sure enough, no sooner had we agreed than something came up, and Steve misbehaved, throwing a pencil at me.
Instantly I recalled our agreement, so I had no need to retaliate and just reminded him that he now owed me an acceptable apology. Two days later, after a lot of frustration and head-scratching on his part, he managed to offer me an apology that I considered acceptable, finally taking full responsibility for his actions. Granted, my innocent actions were the catalyst for his outburst, but there was no intent on my part.
He told me that this experience changed his whole perspective on how he had been treating his wife and kids. Thus began our journey of being account able. Since then, I have created a suite of agreements that have allowed us to moderate, mitigate and monitor our behavior. I call it SpatzAI