I have a possible solution to resolving disagreements before they become disputes, that you can try without any expensive therapy
- SPLIT THE DISAGREEMENT into two parts.
- The content of the disagreement and
- The behavior while delivering the content. Then DISAGREE with the content but OBJECT to the behavior of the delivery when one finds it offensive. Do this in tandem and in real-time.
- SPLIT THE OBJECTION into 3 levels or consecutive phases (Must always start with number 1 the Caution and escalate if unsatisfied)
And agree to give appropriate responses to each level. Either justify your offensive behavior or..
1. Give a simple acknowledgement to a Caution, then return to the disagreement or…
2. Give a simple apology to an Objection, then return to the disagreement or…
3. Give an acceptable apology to a Stop, then return to the disagreement or…
USE A FINAL DEMOCRATIC PROCESS if the offending behavior is still unresolved then find some of both your peers to get them to adjudicate.
I call this Object123.com and the category is a Social Just Culture.
* ensure all parties agree before you start and be careful it has not been fully tested yet, only between my brother and I