Disagreements, to me, are essential, and we should have far more of them, but a disputes can quickly erupt from a disagreement because one or more will start to “play the man, not the ball.” It is when we get personal that disputes arise, I believe.
Listen carefully to any disagreement, and you will find that it can quickly devolve into a dispute. The tone or volume rises, aspersions cast, rhetorical questions asked, brows beat, absolute language brandished, dogma reeks, blaming’s rife, accusations ubiquitous, and biases mislead. All these behaviors being classed as displays of anger or aggression in defense of our argument, but please don’t tell me these psychological safety hazards can be enjoyed by the receiver and are “good”. They are not. I believe that we should do everything in our power to stamp them out, and prevent them from reoccurring, so we can enjoy our disagreements. Here is my simple proposed solution to tackling misbehavior during a disagreement.

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