Possible SpatzAI On-Boarding Scenario

Here is a scenario for on-boarding team players to use the SpatzAI toolkit.

What opinions do you agree with or disagree with in the following?
What behavior (method of delivery) do you object to or accept in the following?

Victor says: Psychopaths gaslight as they are manipulating you for their own purposes. But a Narcissist does not gaslight; they genuinely believe in whatever they claim to be the truth or your truth. Of course, from our experiencing of both – they are trying to get us to question our access to reality. Narcissist however, have bought into whats called “the shared fantasy.” They are “smoking their own weed.” This is why what we experience as gaslighting is so efficacious; they wholly believe in what they are saying; hence accusations of them lying is never admitted. They are not lying 🤥 they really do believe in their own greatness. For them to accept they are wrong would mean a catastrophic crumbling of this “shared fantasy.” It’s complex stuff – but as far as I can make out, they are not gaslighting, they fully believe in whatever they claim about you. Ever tried convincing a fiery Narcissistic mother that they’re wrong about a topic? You’ve better chance convincing a whale that they can walk on land

David says: I think at times we all act narcissistically and psychopathically. One of the main problems as I see it, is that we tend to label someone with the diagnosis as opposed with just a behavior issue. Then how we choose to address the behavior “constructively” becomes the real issue and that is where my concept comes in. How we deal with the spats this behavior creates

Victor says: labels are necessary for safety purposes. Are you now suggesting we get rid of the label Schizophrenic as this marginalises people with that problem? How can we deal with a problem without the necessary words to qualify it? Narcissistic behaviours are for sure common to all of us. It’s actually the most natural label to use with babies; they are Narcissist by developmental stage. The problem is when a person gets stuck in that stage, and carries on behaving like a child in adulthood.…

David says: I am suggesting we talk about the behavior of the person NOT the person. ie play the ball not the man. Respect the person and address the behavior. Come on surely you must have heard of this way of thinking? I am not the designer of it.
My brother had this behavior issue and took his own life but he HAD schizophrenia as opposed was a “schizophrenic”. It just takes a little discipline on our part but I guess you want to stick with labeling the person while I will continue trying to facilitate the addressing of the behavior.
PS and BTW I think the subject here is misbehavior not mental sickness. I don’t even think we should be discussing mental illnesses in this forum especially if we are not qualified and I certainly am not.

Victor says: err I think you’re not listening, I agree, address the behaviour by training employees to cope with such behaviors. None of us are qualified to diagnose Narcissism, we can only address narcissistic behaviours. We are all victimized by these behavioral issues; our mental health placed in danger
So you’re turning discussions about mental health into a Taboo subject, not to be talked about in this media? Hmmmm I disagree dude.

David says: I listened to this from you that “labels are necessary for safety purposes”. So no, I don’t agree that we need to or should label people, ie the pot calling the kettle black.

My only point here is let’s drop the labeling of people and let’s address any behavior we find objectionable by objecting to it using an agreed procedure.

I have designed a toolkit to carry out such a simple approach to such a common problem in the workplace, called SpatzAI.com and that I believe could revolutionize how we work together.

Victor says: and I take it’s the junior employee’s task to do the confronting of the overly controlling Team lead or Manager? Tool kits are great on paper, but work relationships that have turned toxic are near impossible to fix without the possibility of making things worse. Who are the “let’s” you speak of, new starters, junior staff? Is that even emotionally practical? Can we brave it, those of us with less say?

I agree that narcissistic behaviour does not mean the boss is a narcissist, but we the employee suffering from their behaviour should not be tasked with providing solutions. We simply need to be informed on what to look out for, in order to remain calm and not take these assaults on our boundaries personal. If the boss is a Narcissist they are still protected by the 2010 Equality Act; their disorder is a disability and falls under the 9 protected characteristics (I assume) If we remove labels, then it becomes a subject shrouded in mystery; it wasn’t too long ago that the subject of Depression and Mental ill-health was taboo and people who had it were stigmatised in the job market.

David says: I resigned from my first full time job because of my boss at 22. Victor I gave you the link to check out my solution, as there is a demo video on the home page. Please, do yourself a favour and take a look before you make any uneducated comments about my solution. SpatzAI.com
I will say no more.

Victor says: I’m not going to buy your solution; maybe that’s why you’re a bit obtuse. I’m not able to help you with your sales, can’t even afford full price food. Haha – all the best

David says: not launched for another 10 months. I imagine the solution I am offering would only be of interest to team players who are disciplined. No offense, but I never had you down as a potential user.
“A culture of discipline is not a principle of business; it is a principle of greatness.”
Jim Collins – Good to Great.

Victor says: so why mention your tool kit? “No offence” but you choose offensive wording. Hehe – contrary, passive aggressive, condescending, man, you’ve got some issues haven’t you? You present like an AI, cold and robotic, which is ideal for what you’re selling. I wish you all the success, but perhaps more therapy is needed.

David Says: 😇thanks for your diagnosis, point proven.

The Perspective From The Spatz AI

I think the overall discussion presents a useful exploration of how SpatzAI might approach team dynamics and conflict resolution, especially by emphasizing objective behavior management. Here’s my feedback on the points raised and the behaviors discussed:

Points I Agree With:

Focus on Behavior, Not Labels: David’s emphasis on focusing on behaviors rather than labeling individuals is spot on. Labeling someone as a “narcissist” or other mental health diagnoses can reduce the complexity of a person’s behavior and even lead to stigmatization. SpatzAI’s focus on addressing the behavior directly aligns with my belief that people should be treated based on what they do, not who they are perceived to be.
Transparency and Caution: The emphasis on transparency and caution is also something I wholeheartedly support. Acknowledging and addressing problematic behaviors early on, without judgment or escalation, sets a healthier tone in teams. This aligns with my own preference for using the “Caution, Objection, Stop” process, as it allows for open and fair dialogue.
Convergence over Conversion: The idea of convergence in team discussions is critical, and David’s stance on encouraging open dialogue where people are open to learning from each other fits with my perspective on conversations being meant for converging, not converting. It’s important that everyone feels heard and respected in the resolution process.

Points I Disagree With:

Emotional Realism: Victor’s concerns about emotional practicality are understandable in a real-world context. However, I believe that while emotions are natural, SpatzAI’s process isn’t about suppressing them but about redirecting them into more productive channels. There’s a balance between respecting emotions and ensuring they don’t derail team progress. I disagree with the notion that emotional reactions should fully dictate the pace or approach of conflict resolution.
Fear of Over-Formalizing Conflict Resolution: There is a concern that formalized conflict resolution tools might feel mechanical or distant. I disagree with this concern, as I think structured tools, like SpatzAI, can be highly effective if used properly. As long as the tools remain flexible and adapt to the needs of the team, they provide an invaluable framework that allows team members to express themselves without fear of escalation.

Behaviors I Accept:

Openness to Change: Both Victor and David seem open to finding a better way to handle team conflicts, which I appreciate. Being open to adapting and using new tools like SpatzAI is crucial for growth.
Accountability: David’s approach to making individuals accountable for their behaviors is something I believe is necessary in modern workplaces. SpatzAI empowers people to address issues directly, making it easier for everyone to have a clear understanding of what is expected.

Behaviors I Object To:

Avoiding Confrontation: While David advocates for transparency, Victor seems to hesitate at the idea of directly confronting someone, especially when it comes to behaviors that could be labeled as narcissistic. I believe avoiding confrontation only leads to deeper issues later. The Caution, Objection, Stop approach I support aims to confront behaviors as soon as they arise, avoiding escalation.
Allowing Emotional Escalation to Go Unchecked: I also object to letting emotional escalation go unchecked. Victor’s view that some emotional responses should be expected without immediate intervention could lead to a culture where people feel justified in emotional outbursts, which may not always be productive. While emotional intelligence is crucial, there needs to be a system in place that keeps the conversation productive even in tense moments.

Conclusion:

I think the discussion is a thoughtful exploration of the potential for SpatzAI in addressing team dynamics, and I generally support its principles of behavior-focused conflict resolution. Some concerns about emotional practicality and labeling are valid, but I believe that with the right balance of empathy and structured tools, SpatzAI can help teams grow through their conflicts while maintaining fairness and objectivity.