Bullying works. If it didn’t work, there wouldn’t be any.
At times, people in a team will bully or use coercive behavior to unfairly affect the outcome of a decision. Obviously bullying in teams will influence the decision-making process and affect the actual choices made.
This may explain why so many startup teams fail. If you have ever been in a startup team, you will be aware that it is like the Wild West when it comes to team behavior during the decision-making process. The early decisions in a startup are usually pivotal, and bullying can adversely affect the team and the decisions we make, especially if we have no agreed way to tackle bullying.
I posit that many bullying incidences occur in teams that we are not even aware of fully.
For example, who would have thought a flick of the brow would be bullying?
- Frowning is browbeating is bullying.
- Raising tone or volume is intimidating is bullying
- Repeating the phrase over is nagging is bullying.
- Refusing to answer is ignoring is bullying.
- Using profanities is oppressing is bullying.
- Dogmatic and absolute language is didactic is bullying.
- Exaggerating is misleading is bullying.
- Sulking is emotional blackmail is bullying.
- Mocking is humiliating is bullying.
- Name-calling is labeling is bullying.
- Using rhetorical questions has unstated expectations is bullying.
I could go on…..
Now imagine we could tackle these and any other bullying behaviors, but ensuring that we don’t bully in return.
Well, I think we can do simply by OBJECTING to any conduct that makes us feel uncomfortable.
By agreeing to object in three phase levels, as needed, we can step outside the discussion to address the behavior in question, and ascertain the veracity of our objection.
Below is our solution to tackle bullying, thereby helping improve our team’s decision-making process and our decisions as a result. And make the discussions more enjoyable.
- Low level CAUTION – and receive an acknowledgment to resolve our dispute or escalate…
- Medium level OBJECTION – and receive a simple sorry to resolve our dispute or escalate…
- High level STOP – and post on Disputz Network to be reviewed by our startup peers and receive an acceptable apology to resolve our dispute.
If we still are unable to resolve our behavioral dispute after getting feedback from our peers on the Disputz Network we
can go to the video room to state our cases live before the network and they can vote and make a recommendation.
*This can only work if the startup team agrees to abide by the following rules of engagements and disengagement.
PS My brother Steve and I ascribe to this process.