Imagine if we had an agreement to apologize when we got angry, ignored the other, lied or made a false accusation. Not only an apology but an agreeable apology. One where the receiver would need to agree to the apology offered before it was accepted. This would revolutionize a relationship, in my view.
In other words the receiver, the one that is the victim of the perpetrator gets to decide that the apology they heard fit the crime as much as the perpetrator gets to decide what
their apology should comprise of. The apology is a shared event that involves both parties.
Agreeing to an agreeable apology procedure will also assists in this process. One I have with my brother is to say:
1. What I did
2. Why I did it
3. What I will do next time
And, providing the listener agrees with this explanation, it can be agreed to and ultimately accepted by both. If not then the receiver can explain why they do not agree and the perpetrator can try again.
Remember this applies to both parties.