Accountability Agreement

Hi Dr. Marni Feuerman

I spotted your post on Gottman Ins. page.

I have been working on this idea for conflict resolution for quite a while now and am wondering if I could get your feedback on it.

What if a couple simply made an agreement upfront to be accountable for their anger and if they got angry during the resolution process they would agree to give an acceptable apology for their anger.

I call this the Accountability Agreement. Now I know that this sounds very simple yet I have not been able to find anybody that has agreed with this idea so far only my brother, whom I have this agreement with.

We find that it is the process of giving an acceptable apology that helps us to learn to understand why we get angry and how to reduce it. Apology such as;
1. What I did
2. Why I did it
3. What I would do next time

After making such an agreement, helping each other identify our levels of anger and agreeing to this process is the next stage.

Any thoughts?