Negotiations Being in a relationship or partnership of any sort means we will have to negotiate, propose, and agree to a countless number of issues; that crop up from day to day for the life of the relationship.
Free and Fair If we want a free and fair negotiation, we will also have to agree to some rules of engagement. E.g., no spitting, biting, or scratching 🙂
Breaking the Rules A violation of these rules is considered an offense, resulting in a caution, penalty, or disqualification by a referee/or each other. Ultimately we are accountable. We are responsible if we break or bend these rules.
Rules Revised When Needed We can revise the rules when needed if we both agree to the changes. The better the rules, the better our negotiations, which leads to even better rules.
InContemptof Our Agreed Rules Failure to continue endorsing our agreed rules of engagement would result in contempt and would be grounds to end any agreements formed in the relationship or partnership. Basically, it would be time to say goodbye.
Let the negotiations and agreements for the first rules of engagement begin! I just happen to have a few that I have prepared earlier, I call them Object123 .
Object123 is a simple Social Just Culture tool that we have developed to help stop power abuse in the workplace. We see this as a very important part of workplace health and safety, that is, a Psychological Safety using a Just Culture process. And as Just Culture encourages teams to own up to mistakes by not blaming or punishing them, a Social Just Culture encourages teams to expose and confront misbehavior, in real-time rather than repress it and backbite the offender.
Organization members are encouraged to openly disagree and simultaneously OBJECT to, and acknowledge any poor behavior during the three phase process. Thereby, nipping at the bud, any disputes before they become heated conflicts and saving countless lost hours of gossiping, backbiting, strained office politics and abuses of power.
disagreeing Vs objecting
Firstly it consists of us agreeing to observe and separate our disagreements into two parts. 1. Our content of the disagreement 2. Our behavior while delivering the content We disagree with the content as per usual but OBJECT to our behavior, in real-time. during our discussion.
three phases of objection
Object123 consists of three phases of objection, small, medium and large. Each phase requires an acknowledgement from the offender or they can try justify their offensive behavior. The three phases are: 1. Caution – Receive a simple acknowledgement or escalate to… 2. Objection – Receive a simple apology or escalate to… 3. Stop – Receive an acceptable apology or escalate to…
final democratic process
It also includes a final democratic process to ultimately eliminate any unresolved disputes, where the offender and offended attends the Friday afternoon weekly meeting and their case is adjudicated by a team of their peers (not HR or management). Without an acceptable explanation or acceptable apology the offender will most likely be let go, regardless if they are the manager or even the CEO. We want to shift power from the top and give everyone, from the janitor to the CEO, access to social justice.
In summary, I think it is easier to measure and subtract power abuse than to measure and add psychological safety!
My question to the person that posted this Parisa Naraei PhD:
“My point is Parisa, that is what is needed with psychological safety, now, to define, design and measure it & get everyone to agree & there are a heap of books & thousands of pages on the subject, it is exhaustive and exhausting.”
“Now take the opposite approach that is measuring of power abuse. I believe we all have an intuitive section of our brain that can detect the slightest offensive behavior in a nanosecond. However, we have been indoctrinated to suppress, repress or oppress these feelings by such idioms as, “suck it up buttercup”, “sticks & Stones….”, “snowflake”, “don’t rock the boat”, “don’t be so sensitive” or “have a thick skin”, etc etc. I am sure you have heard at least one if not all of these before.”
“So imagine if we agreed to speak up, in real-time when we have taken offence & encouraged adult team members to have this behavior that children are so good at. But instead of throwing a tantrum like a child, we simply objected to the offensive behavior as it occurred. Eg. When was the last time you said to someone “I object” when they said or did something offensive to you? We usually, literally suck it up & after the meeting gossip to our workmates about what a deplorable person they are. Here is my slideshare pitch to help you understand my point.”