Some 40 years ago I asked a workmate what conversation was for. Her reply was that I was “fu*ked”. At the time we laughed, but the question never left me. It stayed with me for decades. After some 32 years, countless conversations about conversation, and hearing many different reasons for having them, I came up with a couple of answers that seemed to resonate.
Addressing Recursive Metacommunication
I think one of the more useful terms I’ve come across recently is "recursive metacommunication". It describes what happens when a discussion shifts from the idea itself to how the idea is being communicated, and then loops there. You’ve probably seen it: One person shares a view. The other reacts to the tone. The first defends their intent. The second frustratingly challenges that defense.
Objective Intelligence OQ with SpatzAI
For a long time I have been searching for what might help me become a little more objective, or at least a little less subjective. What I keep coming back to is this. Objectivity does not just come from better thinking. It also comes from better conditions for thinking together.
Fair Play in the Workplace
Q. How do we get fair play in the workplace? A. By giving team members a standard way to address objectionable behavior in real time.
SpatzAI: Real-Time Behavioral Governance
SpatzAI is a self-managed accountability and moderation platform designed to help resolve workplace "spats" (micro-conflicts) before they escalate into major conflict resolution incidents requiring HR. Still in the concept and testing phase, Spatz focuses on improving team collaboration by protecting members from "unfair play" during difficult conversations.
Real-time Behavioral Governance
Melinda French Gates’s approach to conflict, at least in this recent post on Fortune, seems more focused on delaying feedback, with a 48-hour pause before she raises the issue. Her rule is more about raising issues honestly and with grace, so she can get her thoughts together and so her people are not blindsided later in a formal review.
Fair Play in Teamwork, Real-Time Fairness with a VAR-like Backstop
In sports, fairness isn’t just a principle, it’s enforced in the moment. A referee’s whistle, a yellow card, or even a VAR review ensures that play stays balanced. What if workplace teamwork operated the same way?
The Future of Teamwork is Real-Time Fairness
“Real-time” doesn’t mean people aren’t already speaking live. Most teamwork already happens live. What’s missing is real-time governance and accountability. In most teams, the conversation is immediate, but accountability is delayed....
It’s the Course-Correction, Stupid
I think one of the biggest gaps in team governance is that we still have no simple, shared way for people to course-correct one another without things making worse. That, to me, is the heart of the issue for teamwork and collaboration. Teams do not break down merely because people think differently. Nor do they fail simply because pressure exists. They break down when there is no fair and proportionate way to correct flawed thinking, or objectionable behaviour, in real time.
It’s the Process, Stupid
With a clear team agreement and a fair process for addressing misbehaviour, I believe teams can, more often than not, stop minor infringements from escalating into micro-conflicts, disputes, or larger conflict. The real issue is not just the behaviour itself, but whether there is a shared way to raise and resolve it fairly....
Object123 