Most of us were taught that when uncomfortable friction arises during a disagreement, we have only three responses to consider: Fight Push back using a tit-for-tat reaction. Flight Step away. Avoiding the moment, and sweeping it under the carpet. Freeze Get stuck. Go silent. Ignoring the situation and shutting down.
There’s a Fraction Too Much Friction
I was in a discussion on LinkedIn the other day about disagreement in conversation. The point he raised was that disagreement is a form of friction, and that some amount of friction is necessary for a healthy discussion. I think there is something slightly off in that framing.
Overly Dogmatic “I am right, you are wrong”, Thinking
Most of us don’t recognise it because dogma hides inside conviction. The stronger we feel about being right, the less likely we are to question the beliefs that make us feel that way. And in the world of management and consulting, where confidence sells, this blindness is rewarded.
The Holy Grail of Team Culture – Repairing the Blown Fuse
And so, tension quietly builds, trust erodes, and what was once a cohesive team begins to fracture. We can keep encouraging people to “speak up,” but the real question is how should a team member respond in that very moment when someone crosses their line?
Plan for the Perfect Culture, Then Prepare for the Failure
In workplace teams, everyone nowadays seems to be talking about psychological safety and how an ideal culture protects people within it. But little thought is given to preparing for the daily failures that occur ad nauseam - the small ruptures born of our human fallibility, emotions, and egos. It’s these subtle moments, when someone’s tone sharpens or a correction feels like unfair criticism, that can quietly erode trust.
The Age of Micro-Conflict Intelligence Has Arrived
For years, organisations have been talking up psychological safety, inclusion, and communication culture. But talking isn’t the same as doing, and certainly not the same as addressing and resolving. We’ve mastered the art of reporting major incidents but still struggle with what happens before they escalate, the small moments of friction, tone, or misunderstanding that quietly corrode trust and alignment.
The David Howell Challenge
I figure we’re at the Wright Brothers moment, trying to get this thing called teamwork to truly fly. And I can’t help feeling a bit like one of those amateur bicycle mechanics (perhaps with mild delusions of grandeur).
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